Father George
Sohn was praying for the people of South Armagh before finally blowing out the
candles in the chapel, blissfully unaware of the latest sectarian confrontation
in the neighboring city. The other four parish priests were away for the
weekend tending to friends, family and relatives in nearby Armagh. He had
stayed behind to tend to the rectory and maintain a prayer vigil for the
victims of the violence. He prayed they might get back to where they were
before the Princess of Edinburgh was kidnapped, ever so close to a peace treaty
at long last.
He was going to
call it a night when he heard a knock on the chapel door. He was immediately
alarmed as it was far too late for anyone arriving for services. Yet his code
of ethics required him to remain available for those in need regardless of
circumstances. He could only pray that it was not a hate group attempting to
launch an attack on the Church. In that case he could only place his fate in
God’s hands.
He opened the
door and was surprised at two men wearing black hoodies at the door.
“Greetings,
Father. I am Father Jones and this is Father Kurt. We were traveling around the
Continent and decided to stop here in Ireland. We crossed the border after
visiting Dublin and encountered a civil disturbance in Armagh. We hoped to take
a ferry to England in the morning but have no place to spend the evening.
Perhaps we might be able to rest here in the chapel until sunrise.”
“How many of you
are there?”
“There are seven
of us. Six priests and a Sister of Charity.”
“Why, certainly.
As a matter of fact, the other fathers here are traveling this weekend. You’d
be welcome to use their rooms.”
“Wonderful. I’ll
let them know.”
Father George
walked to the heavy wooden door of the chapel and watched as the other
black-clad figures approached the chapel. Father Jones introduced them all as
they walked in carrying heavy duffel bags, but the Sister of Charity caused him
to do a double-take.
“This is Sister
Jennifer,” Father Jones peered from beneath his black hood.
“You---you’re
the Princess of Edinburgh! Your picture is all over the telly!”
“She gets that
all the time,” Father Jones assured him.
“C’mon, Boss, he
may be dumb but he’s not blind,” Kurt the Bruiser grunted, pulling off his
hoodie to reveal his tattooed 22” biceps accentuated by his sleeveless black
T-shirt. “Let’s see if we can get some chow and some z’s before we find us a
boat ride.”
“I suppose so,”
Mansfield replied, pulling off his gray wig and tossing it at Father George,
revealing his graying black mane and smoldering cobalt eyes. “My companions are
hungry. We are escorting the Princess back to London and would like to refresh
ourselves for the trip. The Protestants are very much against us, I’m sure you
can appreciate that.”
“Of course, of
course,” Father George nearly dropped the wig in a fright. At first he thought
the man had scalped himself. “There are some provisions in the Frigidaire, I’ll
make you a meal.”
“God bless you,
Father,” Mansfield clapped his shoulders.
Father George
made his way to the kitchen, intimidated by the menacing aura of his visitors.
There was the sociopathic Chopper, the shifty-eyed Van Tran, the cold-eyed Cat
and the arrogant Sting. He was somewhat comforted by the presence of the
Princess who followed to help him in the kitchen. Yet he cringed at the thought
of Father Jones being Berlin Mansfield, who was said to be the Devil himself.
“My Princess,”
Father George managed as the Princess took off her hoodie, wearing her black
T-shirt to help him with the cooking. “How long have you been free? The entire
country of Northern Ireland is looking for you.”
“I was rescued
Saturday night,” she revealed. “We tried to escape through Newtownhamilton but
there was rioting and we had to return to the place we were staying. We drove
through Crossmaglen a couple of hours ago but we came across another terror
attack. There has been violence in every direction we’ve turned. I simply must
get back to try and put an end to all this.”
“That
fellow---the man traveling with you,” the priest hesitated. “Is that---Berlin
Mansfield?”
“No, that’s
Jim,” she smiled sweetly. “I met Jim Jones at the dance, the night I was
kidnapped. Jim is the man who rescued me.”
Father George
considered all these things as he set about making a huge pan of Ulster fry. He
knew that the forces of evil had kidnapped the Princess to derail the peace
negotiations. Yet he may have been the only person in Northern Ireland to know
that she may have been delivered unto a greater evil. If this was indeed Berlin
Mansfield, then he may well be holding the Princess for an even greater demand
than anyone could fathom. He prayed mightily that God would intercede and save
the Princess from the horror that might well loom ahead.
His heart leapt
for joy as he heard a pounding on the chapel door once again. He only hoped it was
none of the other priests of the parish returning, lest they panic at the sight
of the strangers and make a move that might provoke violence. He prayed that it
was the authorities conducting a random patrol of the area and come to see that
all was well. They could take custody of the Princess and return her to
Buckingham Palace where she could complete her historical mission in bringing
peace to Northern Ireland.
The gangsters
waited for Father George to come down to the chapel and answer the door. He could
hear the sound of metal clattering in the shadows and felt a chill down his
spine. He feared the worst and only wished the Princess had not followed him
from the kitchen in the rectory through the passageway to the chapel. He prayed
to the Blessed Virgin that there be no bloodshed and that the suffering of the
people of Ulster come to an end at last.
“Greetings,
friends. How can I help you?”
“Good evening,”
the auburn-haired man in black stood at the threshold with his companion as the
six men inside the chapel gathered around in curiosity. “I’m Father Stevens and
this is Father Slash. We were in the area and can really use a place to stay
for the night. I saw the car parked outside and I thought maybe you were
providing shelter for travelers here.”
“This place is
full,” Kurt the Bruiser was belligerent. “Try the church down the street.”
“Hey, bro,”
Slash Scimitar spotted Sting Ramipril in the crowd around the door. “You look
like you’re a long way from home. You wouldn’t be from that swampland in Jamaica.”
“The only swamps
I ever crossed was bringing Jamaican rum to the beggars in Grenada.”
Jon Stevens
rolled his eyes, knowing what was coming next.